The world currently feels stacked against me: Covid-19, crippling debt, my mother’s crippling debt, my mother’s mental and physical health are constantly fluctuating, I wonder every month if this is the month the banks foreclose on my house, my depression, my anxiety, my lack of a proper income, my lack of savings due numerous factors, the state of this ridiculous country I live in are just a few of the issues that bombard me at various times throughout the day.Continue reading “Am I Foolish?”
Age is Tricky
I am not old. Almost 28, and yet I’ve helped in raising a lot of my younger cousins. This weekend I discovered, as most parents usually find out, that my kiddos are getting older and becoming adults. And I hate it.
I can’t think with the voices in my head
The voices sound like they want me dead
I can’t act with this fear in my bones
This freezing terror won’t leave me alone
I can’t love with hate in my heart
I’m trying to forgive but I’ve had a rough start
I can’t really seem to do anything at all
Nothing to uplift when all I’ve done is fall
I want no one.
I never have.
I want her.
I want to touch her,
I want her to touch me.