Being too exhausted this past Wednesday to rant about anything, I gave myself some grace and decided to self-reflect on that exhaustion today instead. Here’s what I got:
I am an introvert consistently influenced by having mental illnesses, a fairly big family that I actively participate in, and a full time remote-hybrid job. For me, that means I fluctuate between the mental and physical states of tired and exhausted on a fairly regular basis, which then affects how I go about interacting with the world. This is compounded by living in an imperialist capitalist business experiment trying to pass as a country that is actively contributing to genocides here and abroad.
I’m thankful I have been working for the past 7-8 years or so to develop strategies to overcome the exhaustion and tiredness to a certain point. But some days are just going to suck and that’s when I get a chance to practice patience with myself. This week in general was exhausting, to the point that I have used today to stay in my room as much as possible and keep interactions with my family to a minimum. I’m lucky that I’m in a position to be able to do so, because normally that is not the case and I do also fight with feelings of guilt for the avoidance. Another thing I’m working on. I work on a lot of things. But that’s what happens when you accept that you are a constant work in progress. I can’t wait to see the day when I am finally complete. I wonder what that Erisel will look like….
Anyhow, this was short and sweet. I would like this to be part of a larger series where I reflect on my introversion and how I am shaped by it. See you Wednesday!
Erisel Cruz 